California, Graduation and Screening at The Red Vic

I am visiting my middle son, Alex at college here in Santa Clara.. Alex is still writing papers so, thought I’d come out a day or two before our San Francisco screening–this WEEK! at the Red Vic Theater Wednesday and Thursday.

I love seeing my sons in their own places–Alex and his lady friend, Shereen have been sharing a house all year. I was delighted to see the House Chore Chart they created–complete with fines. It was an exact replica of the one I had for them when they were younger. Alex had come home earlier this year and said he could not believe how hard it was to get anyone to do any work around the house and also that it was Amazing that I had done this for so many years when they were at home. I laughed!

I’ve been busy with my sons for these past couple of weeks. Ian came home from Boulder for the summer. I am so happy knowing my oldest is under our roof! Then, Cameron graduated from high School–a very big deal with two proms! as well as special dinners, moving out of his dorm, saying good bye to friends. I am missing his big party tonight, but he said he doesn’t mind as I tend to go ” a little crazy” about kids’ behavior. I worry about safety. But, I guess I have to trust that the 18-21 years of counsel will serve them well….

On the movie front, we are continuing to get requests for screenings from around the country! This is so so heartening. I am touched by the number of people who write in to our web site to say how much this film, or even just the trailer means to them.

When I think back over the six years that I have been making and distributing WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS? and the number of people who did not think there was a story worth telling, the number of people who said that there was no “issue” or who wondered why I cared about profiling the lives of mothers, the number of people who said to me, “well, everybody has a choice!” or “I wish I could just play the guitar, but we all have to ‘make a living!” and yes, we do, and yes, we have to bring up the next generation….but, when neither child rearing nor guitar playing pay, then what??

Yet, here we are, six years later, with those requests for screenings from around the country–it is breathtaking.

I am so grateful for all those people who did see the possibilities for this film, who did help to create it and to get it out into the world.

Just a few facts–we have shown the film in over 100 cities in the US and Canada for a total of over a 1000 screenings. 20,000 people have seen the film–at the least.. We are still getting requests for screenings–four came in today…We have over a thousand people visiting our web site a day. We have been written about in all the major Press–New York TImes, LA Times, Denver Post. Over 290 blogs have posted about the film–for an audience of at least 500,000 if not closer to a couple of million! Amazing for a film that some of the major Film Festivals rejected! And while our film is good (indeed, I dare to say, GREAT!), and touches a chord, this exposure has also been due to the power of our audiences who have sent links and notes and emails to their friends. Thank you thank you….

And we are still on this journey. This summer, my sons and I will do some follow ups with our amazing women. What are they up to now? How has the film affected their families, their art work? We hope to have a bit of footage for DVD extras–oh, yes, we will be distributing DVDs SOON!! Stay tuned.

I am really looking forward to working with my sons and hope to have some footage, for Youtube, sometime in the next couple of months. Be on the lookout!

Pamela

Red Vic Theater in San Francisco Screening

Lindsay and I went out to San Francisco this past week where the film played for two days to great audiences!!  The theater is a Co-op  that has been playing independent films for the last thirty or forty years.  An excellent community builder– with a loyal following, green energy and organic popcorn.  We were thrilled with the turn out and the response!

Lindsay found this old-time photo of the Red Vic, on line.  The funny thing was–it hasn’t really changed much.  Thanks to all of you who came, saw, laughed and even cried….it means so so much to me.

A guest post from Billie Jean Sullivan, Executive Director Fairfield Arts Council

May 12, Tuesday 7pm

The night Fairfield Arts Council presented the movie, ”Who does she think she is” we had a lot of excitement brewing amongst women an artists in the area. We are a small town-centric arts Council in Fairfield CT, but the viewers came from miles around. We had 30 reservations. 22 addl. bought tickets the night of the performance at the door. We had 5 students and 5 gratis for a total of 68 attendees, plus a 5 female artist panel and a facilitator, from our board and Professor and Director of performing arts dept. at Fairfield University.

The evening had an overall positive feel to it. You could hear audience reactions throughout the movie, people identifying with and or questioning what was being said on screen.

We started the movie at 7pm, it ran till 9pm, then the panel discussion for about 40. minutes after 9. There was a lot of feedback during the panel discussion. More people stayed throughout the panel discussion than left and had comments till the very end, even though it was late for a Tues. night. My assistant sat in the back and as people trickled out, they made a point of going over to her to thank her and share how much they enjoyed it saying that we should do more of this type of thing.

Whether you agree or disagree, movies like this stir up people’s emotions and cause them to voice their own opinions and reactions. Most people have something to say after viewing a movie, many go to dinner afterward to be able to share their thoughts and ideas about the movie. Having the panel discussion afterwards gave everyone that forum. By using the theatre in our building, FAC brought new people to our space and Fairfield Theatre Co.’s, and gave them a feel of the arts area that we created. It was a very inspiring and empowering evening for all who attended.

PS. I forgot to mention there were only 2 men in the audience.

I would like to thank all the area artists who sat on the panel, Marti LoMonaco, facilitator of the panel and Christine Mihalec for going above and beyond what a volunteer does. She even let us use her directors chairs on stage.  Thanks it was a very enjoyable experience.

A Young Mom Writes

A great letter came today from a friend of co-producer Kerthy Fix:

“Hi Kerthy!
I was excited to read about Who Does She Think She Is? and even more excited when The Maine Women’s Fund brought the film here to Portland…I just got home from seeing it!! It was followed up by a wonderful conversation about balancing all that we as women and mothers have to balance in our lives. It is extremely timely for me, as I am a few days away from giving birth to a second daughter and two weeks from graduating with my Master’s in Social Work.

One of the local “panelists” that they got to help run the discussion was Kate Philbrick, a photographer here in Maine who was my teacher at the Salt Institute. One of the audience members was a professor of mine in social work school…

During the discussion Kate and Layne happened to be sitting with one empty chair between them in the circle…and I imagined myself in it, between my photography world and my social work world…it’s a place I thought I had resolved by choosing to go to social work school, but there was that empty chair, staring back at me with a big question mark.

Perhaps my photography-vs-socialwork thing will continue to be a place of tension (or harmony?) in my life.

Anyway, it is a time of contemplation and reflection for me and your film has come into my life at exactly the right moment. I was so thrilled to see it.

Hope you are well and enjoying the success of the film – it was VERY well received here in Portland. I wish every woman I know had been able to be there, especially those of us juggling the very elements addressed in the film.
Katherine”

Thanks Katherine. So great to read your thoughts.

Thank you Houston!

You were a wonderful audience. Please check out this great interview with Nancy.

http://www.examiner.com/x-7428-Houston-Filmmakers-Examiner~y2009m5d8-Who-Does-She-Think-She-Is-Premieres-in-Houston–Interview-with-codirector-Nancy-Kennedy

Mother’s Day Revisited

Cameron and I on this Mother's Day

My son Ian sent me this photo this morning for Mother's Day

Mother’s Day

I am sitting in my sunny kitchen at home in Massachussetts after so many months on the road.  My youngest son, sleeps on upstairs, along with two other young men he brought home for the weekend.

I’ve already been out to walk the dog around our beautiful lake  and waterfall in the center of  town, taking  time to smell the lilacs, to note how the willow growing on the lawn of the town Library leans far far to the ground, yet still holds.  Over the years, I have walked on this path so many times–once when said sleeping son was all of 18 months,  I walked with him and his two brothers here and watched him run  into the water after a swan.  I ran straight into that cold muddy water too, to catch him before he tumbled face forward, swan swimming well out of his path.  Yet, I have never noticed this tree bending so near to the earth.

While out, I also stopped at our local bakery for croissants for those sleeping boys, a lemon cake for my husband–who has been out of town, but returns today when, as so often in our family–we will celebrate his Birthday on my “special” day!  I also stopped at the Starbucks, where many young men were out with their littlest children.  No doubt, they were giving their wives a morning to sleep in.  So sweet.

Now, I am listening to Layne Redmond’s newest CD “Invoking Aprhodite .”   www.myspace.com/kpyrogenea     It is so so  beautiful–I want to share it with ALL of you.  She tells me that it will be out for sale in the next few weeks.  Look on her website: http://www.layneredmond.com/products/products.htm  

One song, in particular, makes me cry.  In researching the role of women, of Goddesses in the ancient world, Layne told me she came across an a poem set to music.  I hope I get this right–I think she said that the poem was written by a woman.  On the woman’s  death, her grieving husband set the words to music and inscribed these on her gravestone.  Layne has composed a song invoking these words  set to the ancient score, played with the drum and other instruments.

The words–are poignant and oh so beautifully right for me today, on this celebration of Mothers, on this beginning of Spring, the return of the birds, the bees, the greening of all of the earth.  Here is what I heard.  Layne, if I have this wrong, please forgive me….

As long as you live

Be Radiant,

Let Nothing grieve you beyond measure…

For your life is all too short

And Time will call for you.

So, be well, enjoy your Mother’s Day, no matter WHO you are with.  Love your self.  Love your people.  Love the day.

Pamela

Seattle and the SIFF Screenings

Last week, we screened in Seattle at the SIFF Cinema.  We had two outstanding, packed screenings and the question/answer was lively and thoughtful.

However, I wanted to share some emails that have come in from that screening. I can’t remember what the heck I said, but clearly I confused people.

“Hi Pamela, thanks very much for your film, it made me cry and is very important.

The last question during q&a was from the young man who asked about why there are so few women in his math department. i thought your response was shocking, and odd – suggesting that men and women are biologically pre-determined to be good at some things and not as good at other things – isn’t that what got Lawrence Summers fired from the presidency of Harvard, bc he said the same thing?  I feel it is more likely to be a combination of women lacking role-models and confidence in a male-dominated field, such as the arts, as displayed so brilliantly by your film.

sincerely,

Heather”

Geesh!! I wish I remembered exactly what I said… I did not mean to suggest that biological differences along gender, pre-determine roles or abilities…

What I was trying to say — was that there are gender differences.  I would say that most men feel no conflict between their role as father and breadwinner — because the traditional definition of father entails earning a living.  That is how men “take care of family.” Women, traditionally, take care of the family by doing the “work” of caregiving.

Now, in the following letter a scientist skillfully sums up the difficulties women scientists, like artists, are facing today. And it’s so brilliant, I had to include the whole letter.

“Dear Pamela,

I had the privilege to watch your movie and listen to you talking last week, here in Seattle. Your movie inspired me and deeply touched me. However, I was shocked by your response in regard to the low representation of women in math.

I am a biologist, currently working on my PhD at the University of Washington. The struggles of women artists that you show in your movie are similar to what women in science experience.  Although progress has been made in the last decades, science is still a white male dominated field. Yes, there are studies that show differences in the way women and men’s brain might process and function, but there is NO correlation of that with the ability to succeed in a certain field (we just bring our own strengths). Actually girls in primary school tend to do better than boys in math, but they get discouraged when entering high school were specially social pressure encourage them to pursue other fields considered more “feminine”.

In general, a patriarchal system that has dominated the last 3000 years is still trying to justify the absence of women (and other minorities), in certain fields based on a “genetic difference’’. Our present state of knowledge does not support this view. Contrary to that, research has shown, for example, that when a reviewer receives the same scientific article with the name of a women instead of a men, tends to evaluate the work with a lower score. Scientific publications and grants are the way in which scientists receives recognition, so this bias is a major barrier to women success.

Women in science now struggle between being mothers and balancing a career.  The pipeline where women disappear -from biology in particular- is when they are about to apply for a job as a faculty (although the representation of women in biology is about 50% as undergrads, faculty women are less than 30%…in progressive institutions). When finishing your postdoc (now most people have to do 2 of them) you are around 33-37 years old.  The choice then seems to be: applying for a faculty career and spending the next 5 years working none stop to get your tenure, or moving out of academia to form a family. The biological clock and the academic clock are still pushing in different directions.

There are several programs in many universities that have started to correct this pattern. ADVANCE in the University of Washington is one of those programs. Also, in the same way that you show amazing women artists that are fighting against the convention that “it is work or family but not both”, I know amazing women scientists that have come with their own solutions. Dr. Jane Lubchenco (now a science advisor in the Obama administration, head of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration) decided many years ago with her also biologist husband Bruce Menge, to split a position in Oregon University. They earned half of the salary, but were able to have half of the time commitment than other faculty and as a result had a family.  She wrote a paper about their solution:  “Split positions can provide a sane career track-a personal account” BioScience April 1993, Vol. 43, pp. 243-248. Another case, is my ex-advisor Dr. Jennifer Ruesink who had a kid just a few years ago, just after she got tenure at UW. She had a cradle in her office and spent some of committee meetings playing in the floor with her baby meanwhile giving me amazing feedback in my research. I have seen her teaching, doing research, going to do field work with her daughter and multitasking at all levels as I have never seeing anyone done before. Of course, that could only happen because she is in extremely family-friendly academic department and because her husband, who is also a scientist, has been incredibly supportive.

Unfortunately, not all departments and institutions work this way, and not all women scientist are married to other scientists willing to split their job and responsibilities. Areas such as physics and mathematics also tend to be less progressive in ways of incorporating family responsibilities.

Women in all fields have had to struggle and are still struggling with the white-male dominated system. I have not seeing evidence of genetic determination that explains any of this differential expectations and treatment. I believe that all humans, of all genders and races should have equal opportunity to fulfill their full potential in any area, from arts to biology, to math.

What we are facing as a society is that “caregiving” is not recognized as real work.  It does not command a salary.  So, anyone who does it, either depends on a wage earner or lives in poverty.  And we all know what happens when one person is seen as “the dependent” in a relationship.  It is lop-sided. One person ends up with more power than the other.

Childcare benefits ALL of society. Yet, we expect each family to pay out of pocket.  And often, the cost of childcare–is such that it eats away the wages of the lower earner.

Other problem– women  are encouraged to get training and education for paying jobs.  And they do and they have and they rock at it.  We all know that women can do any job– and do it as well if not better than a man.  I never meant to suggest otherwise.

But, the assumption is  that newly minted career woman will work in a structure that does not accomodate family obligations.  We want women to work like men.  Working forty or sixty or eighty hours a week– to advance one’s company, one’s academic institution or career, is fine and well– UNTIL one has children.  Then what?  Somethings got to give.  Someone needs to take the time and give the attention to those children.

What I think I said at the screening in Seattle, was that given these impossible “choices “–really no choice at all, women are more apt to drop out, or to find a more flexible career or job, so that they can take care of those children.

What needs to happen, is a recognition that ALL paid work–from McDonalds to Broadway, to the Boardroom– relies on the unpaid labor of women caring for the children.  This is crazy–and we’ve got to change it so that we enable more awesome, amazing women. To perform at the highest levels in the public spheres.

Anyway, thanks so much for writing. I am touched by your response to the film and cannot believe I suggested that gender differences equated to ability differences… Aaaah, I did not meant that!

Pamela

Kripalu Yoga Center Screens WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?

I have always wanted to do a Yoga Retreat here and love the Kripalu catalogue but also heard that the facilities were a bit austere.   But, after months of hotels and flights and speaking, I rather like the simplicity of this space!

So, we screened the film last night and as always, I tell myself that there could be five people who come and that that will be fine.  Instead, the room filled and people kept streaming in.  The Staff set up extra chairs!  And the question and answer went into overtime.

So, Kripalu, thank you.  Thanks to all of your work to arrange the screening.  I snuck next door to hear the drumming for a bit of the evening because Layne Redmond, featured in the film was leading a Workshop this weekend.

Layne has just finished a new CD , called “Invoking Aphrodite.”  I cannot wait to hear it.  Layne is very passionately absorbed in bringing back the ancient wisdom of women from the Mediterranean–especially the Eleusian Mysteries and the Oracle of Dephi.

She told me of a pilgrimage she is taking later this month to these sacred places.  I wanted to go….maybe soon.  Not quite yet.

Women and the hidden costs of bearing and caring for children

Paula Kirk and I drove out to Amherst, Mass on Tuesday where we had an evening screening of the film at Amherst Cinema.  It was very well attended and a wonderful audience.

Then, today, I met with  Professor Jennifer Cayer and her class on Feminism and art where we discussed issues such as how to pay for the the work done in the house and with the family.  No one seemed to know how to do this….But, I reminded people that ten, twenty years ago, no one knew how to “value” clean air or intact forests either.  And now, we are beginning serious dialogues and coming up with financial models that consider each and other environmental issu

es as costs of doing business.

We used to think that air was there for the taking.  Industries could use it and dirty it at will.  The same went for the water, the oceans, the forests.  Always more where that came from.  But, now we recognize that there are costs to society for pollution.  Those costs can be

quantified in terms of clean up expenses or in terms of equipment and practices needed to prevent the pollution in the first place.

Okay.   How might this model be applied to  the work of  child Care and Housework??

What would the costs be to society if people refused to care for children? What if every person engaged in child care–bathing, feeding, singing, to, reading stories to, listening to, teaching, showing how to do things,  and the attendant housework–cooking, cleaning, chauffering, monitoring baths, homework, reading, playing with, laundry, buying food, clothing, toys, pets, dishes and on and on and on–what would happen to the world if everyone doing these stopped?

Or maybe the question is how does one quantify the value of healthy and well-nurtured children to society?  How do we quantify emotional health?

Any help out there?  Who should bear those costs?  In the case of clean air, water and intact forests–the cost of cleaning is born by the polluter, who in turn passes it along to the consumer.

Maybe I am on the wrong track.  Maybe childcare and household labor is more like education.  We agree that an educated population is a good thing.  So, we pay for school through public taxation–and we hope for the best.  But, this model lacks accountability. I’d rather value child care and house labor as akin to clean air.  We cannot live without someone putting in the time and labor to take care of our young.  And yet, we don’t pay for this valuable service.  Why does this matter?  Because those who do this work become dependent on the salaries of someone else.  Dependency is fine in a child, not so good in an adult relationship.  It breeds contempt.  Interdependence is ideal and many many wonderful people raise children with an understanding that each parent has a role and that they depend on each other.  But, how interdependent are you when one half of the couple makes a salary and the other does not?  Who holds the power here?

Well, this is truly a ramble, but so be it.  I’d love to hear from you.

Pamela